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Author's Chapter Notes:

This was an idea to tell a story of the life of Linc and Mike as heirs to the SCYLLA empire through anything but prose writing. A sort of puzzle, like a police inverstigation collecting intel by means of telephone recordings, diary entries, interviews of witnesses etc.

Song: Ulysses - Franz Ferdinand

Wednesday, 25th February 2009, 2:38 pm, The Dorchester, Park Lane, London


“Hey, what’s up?”

“Not much.”

“You busy?”

“Nope, just chilling.”


“Um, the Dorchester, I think.”

“You think?”

“Yes, was too drunk last night to pay attention but from the interior I guess it’s the good old Harlequin Suite at the D.”

“Decadent youth! So, you’re still in London?”


“What are ya doing?”

“Recovering from Bailey’s afterparty.”

“Ahh, how’s fashion week so far?”

“A nightmare. Christopher made me open his show, so did Viv and Stella and the press was all over me afterwards.”

“Are they heralding you as the new male supermodel?”

“Worse, they're calling me the first genuine It Boy!!! Made me pose with all the Pixiepeaches and some annoying redhead offspring of that obscure duchess.”

“Poor boy, I already told you in Stockholm: you shouldn’t have fucked that Scandinavian at the ball.”

“Yeah, well... too late for that now. Why didn’t you tell me she was a damn princess? If I'm not careful I’ll go down in history as the boy who fucked his way through the Royal Register.”

“Why, who else has been added to the list since Sweden?”

“You don’t wanna know.”

“Atta boy. Guess they’ll hang garlands on your door in Magdalen. When are you heading back to Ox?”

“Tomorrow morning. Have my tute with old Windermere on Friday.”

“How is he?”

“Good. We’re discussing Greek philosophers at the moment while playing chess and backgammon.”

“He’s keeping your fingers busy, huh? Is he still as obsessed about them as ever?”

“More, I am afraid. I dread that if I play the cembalo for him he’ll orgasm.”

“Wouldn’t be the first one. Remember Miss Kobayashi, the piano teacher?”

“How could I forget. The first time I got to touch a female there, man, and I couldn’t get enough.”

“It sure did wonders to your dexterity. Your Revolutionary Etude by Chopin never sounded quite as virtuoso once she was gone.”

“That’s your fault, fucker. Why did you have to do her on the damn concert grand and get caught by mom?”

“Well, it was an original Bösendorfer Piano or better Mösendorfer, had to do it justice.”

“Möse. That must be the only German word you remember from your days in Vienna, right?”

“Well, I did a lot of pussies back then.”

“I remember, the infamous Opera Ball. Am still amazed that mom didn’t realize that her eldest son had banged more than half of the attending female debutantes.”

“Best fortnight in my life. They should have given me an order for my special services to the country.”

“Yeah, engraved with Pretium laborum non vile... No wait, that is actually the motto on the Order of the Golden Fleece.”

“Perfect, there was definitely more than one golden fleece, I can assure you!"


"Wow, no laughter at my bad joke? What’s wrong?”

“Huh? Nothing. I was momentarily distracted, sorry.”

“How come?”

“Exactly. Am getting blown by a Russian topmodel.”

“How very European of you. Is she any good?”

“Sucks like a hoover. Judging from her emaciated frame I guess she’s hungry. Can’t be too bad for her to have a proteine shake, right?"

“If it’s one of yours? Most definitely! Wait, can she understand what you’re saying?”


“Good. Then get her sloshed. Come to think of it, when can we expect you in Cannes on the yacht? Better stock up the Bollinger if the Chosen One from Ox arrives. Even more so since the old head and his young bride are gonna join us on our trip along the Cote d’Azur.”

“Which, I guess, is an adequate affair for the Sons of Scylla, right? Well, my last mod is just before the end of Hilary in March and I have to get back in May for the Trinity prelims.”

“Hilary pillory, gee, don’t you crave Princeton and it’s simplicity of fall and spring terms?”

“No, not really."

“Meritocratic dick.”

“Wow, best neologism of the day, bro. Seems like you’re coping well with ivy league yourself, huh? How are you doing there, Tiger?”

“Just dandy. The old man used to have me under 24-hour-surveillance but with his new mistress he’s finally cutting me some slack. But wait till it’s your turn to be polished to perfection at Princeton. You’re gonna miss your innocent, glorious Oxford days as an undergraduate soon enough."

“Well not so innocent right now. Ohhh, fuck... hold on a sec... aarrggghh, fuck!!!!”

“You doing okay?”

“Fuck, yeah! Ooohh, that was... pppfffttt,  bloody hell. Little Miss Romanova sure knows how to work those eggs.”

“Have her add some Roquefort, Caviar and Cayenne Pepper next time. And stop saying bloody hell. You sound like a pompous pommy to me.”

“Sorry, where were we?”

“Aegean. Greece. You coming, me listening to it... Aaahh, glorious days indeed.”

“Did it get you hard? As it used to?"



“Okay, what?”

“Okay, I am right. It did get you hard.”

“How d’you know that?”

“Because your silence is louder than ever.”

“That’s no affirmation.”

“Do you miss me?"


“See, it is affirmative.”

“You little shit.”

“I miss you, too.”

“Even with Miss Moscow wrapped around you?”

“Yes. An infinite deal more!”


“Woah, you know I could actually hear your smile just now.”

“You little fucker.”

“Stop sobriquetting, you’re making me blush.”

“Okay, gotta go. See you soon. Give Russia my love.”

“Will do. By the way, are you still a free agent?”

“As free as can be. Price to pay of being Company.”

“I’ll deprive you of your liberty as best as I can once we’re on that boat.”



“What about our new mom?”

“Let her watch. Think she’ll be up for it?”

“You bet.”

“Fine. See ya.”




Chapter End Notes:

Tute: short for tutorial. Individual sessions with tutors. Important part of Oxford college education.

Kobayashi (japanese) - surname, means little forest.

Revolutionary Etude by Chopin: difficult song that requires a skilled finger technique *g*

Bösendorfer: world famous Austrian instrument builder. A Bösendorfer Piano is played by singer/songwriter Tori Amos ( one of the authors favorite musicians btw!)

Mösendorfer:  pun made by author. A german word (also spoken in Austria) for cunt is Möse

Vienna Opera Ball: famous society event in Austria. Opened by up to 180 dancing couples, the so-called debutantes. Previous special guests included Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, Teri Hatcher, Nicolette Sheridan, Anna Netrebko, Princess Caroline of Monaco

Order of the Golden Fleece: Austrian order

Pretium laborum non vile (latin) - Not a bad reward for labour (Motto of said order)

Bollinger: expensive Champagne brand

Mod's and prelims: examinations at Oxford

Hilary and Trinity: second and third trimester terms in Oxford from January till March and April til June

Eggs Romanoff: appetizer based on famous Russian family of last Tzar Romanov

Sobriquet: a nickname

From Russia with Love (1963): second film of the James Bond series starring Sean Connery (as if there ever could be any other James Bond!... Mmmmh, Wenty???!!)